Sideways Stories

Life is all about choices. I choose good humor, good food, good wine, and chocolate (good or bad). Welcome to my random musings and awkward life.

My Body, My Choice

Nothing screams uncomfortable more than laying down with a woman holding hot wax over you while she talks to you about having children.  She says, “When are you going to have kids of your own?”  I reply, “I don’t know, I love kids, but I just don’t think I want any of my own.”  I think this will solve it, I may hear something about “that’s right, kids aren’t for everyone” or “you’ll change your mind” or “you’ll know when you’re ready” and then this awkward conversation will be over.  I was wrong.  

For the duration of my waxing she went on about how she didn’t understand why anyone would choose not to have children and deprive themselves of all that joy; children are a blessing…They. Complete. You. Yada, yada, yada.  Translation? Women are supposed to have children and there’s something fundamentally wrong with you if you don’t.  I could unpack her statements and write a commentary about gender roles, feminism, etc, etc, etc., but, this isn’t that type of blog.  And, ultimately, I made it through the waxing and took a breath of relief - I was free.  That is until her parting remark to me was, “Really consider what we talked about.”… Well, I considered it, and this is what I’ve come up with: my body, my choice.

BECAUSE FOOD IS CHEAPER THAN THERAPY … Sooooo, it’s been a while since I’ve actually posted something (especially if you discount the re-posts/re-blogs).  That’s because a lot of craziness has ensued my life the last few months - nay, the last couple of years.  I thought I’d kick of my renewed commitment to blogging with this:  homemade cheesy grits with shrimp, sausage and peppers. 

BECAUSE FOOD IS CHEAPER THAN THERAPY … Sooooo, it’s been a while since I’ve actually posted something (especially if you discount the re-posts/re-blogs).  That’s because a lot of craziness has ensued my life the last few months - nay, the last couple of years.  I thought I’d kick of my renewed commitment to blogging with this:  homemade cheesy grits with shrimp, sausage and peppers. 

"#Hashtag" with Jimmy Fallon & Justin Timberlake

11 months ago -
surisburnbook:


It’s cute how you can spell “the worst” with the letters from North West’s name.
— Suri’s Burn Book (@surisburnbook)
June 21, 2013

Kim and Kanye’s baby has been named, officially, North West. They will call her Nori for short, even though (A) it’s twice as many syllables as her actual name and (B) sorry, but no one is ever going to get past the fact that her name is North West.
Even though I have a feeling that Baby North is going to be just fine, swimming around Scrooge McDuck-style in her stacks of new money, it’s hard not to feel sorry for someone whose parents based such a big decision on “Hey, you know what would be funny?”
Call me if you want the number of my attorney. Or my shrink.

surisburnbook:

Kim and Kanye’s baby has been named, officially, North West. They will call her Nori for short, even though (A) it’s twice as many syllables as her actual name and (B) sorry, but no one is ever going to get past the fact that her name is North West.

Even though I have a feeling that Baby North is going to be just fine, swimming around Scrooge McDuck-style in her stacks of new money, it’s hard not to feel sorry for someone whose parents based such a big decision on “Hey, you know what would be funny?”

Call me if you want the number of my attorney. Or my shrink.

I Tried Gwyneth Paltrow'€™s Diet

This review of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Diet in her new book It’s All Good is pretty hilarious…I’m not a huge Gwyneth fan (certainly not like the reviewer - I didn’t love her in “A Perfect Murder”) but I still thought the review was reasonably balanced and funny…showing you can eat uber healthy but often times it comes down to resources - time and money. 

1 year ago - 1 -

Team Google It Bitch

greenacres:

Spring and Summer means one thing round these parts. Trivia at Neon’s. Bill’s Grill is open and the questions are flying. If only we could answer them correctly.

Nothing makes me feel more stupid than a dozen questions that a third grader could answer.

Google it Bitch…teexxttt mee!

stfuconservatives:

smdxn:

Eliz. Warren wants to cut student interest rates to near zero

Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) has introduced her first piece of legislation. It’s called the Bank on Students Loan Fairness Act, and would reduce the rate students pay on federally-subsidized student loans for one year, from 3.4% to 0.75%.
Without congressional action, on July 1 the rate is set to double from 3.4% to 6.8%.
Warren brings up an interesting point – her bill simply asks students to pay the same rates that big banks pay for borrowing.


She’s literally just asking if college grads can get the same deal as bank CEOs. The exact same interest rate. Not even a bailout or anything fancy (pipe dreams!) - just the same interest rate.

stfuconservatives:

smdxn:

Eliz. Warren wants to cut student interest rates to near zero

Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) has introduced her first piece of legislation. It’s called the Bank on Students Loan Fairness Act, and would reduce the rate students pay on federally-subsidized student loans for one year, from 3.4% to 0.75%.

Without congressional action, on July 1 the rate is set to double from 3.4% to 6.8%.

Warren brings up an interesting point – her bill simply asks students to pay the same rates that big banks pay for borrowing.

She’s literally just asking if college grads can get the same deal as bank CEOs. The exact same interest rate. Not even a bailout or anything fancy (pipe dreams!) - just the same interest rate.

(via doctorimpostor)

Currently on replay.  I think it’s pretty self-explanatory but in a nutshell, it’s a funny and amusing distraction to writing dissertation stuff right now.  The end.

doctorimpostor:

OMG, THIS IS WONDERFUL. Thanks Robin Williams, seriously. 

(Source: feyminism)

This one’s for you Greenacres…

surisburnbook:

Amy Poehler’s ginger child is the most lifelike cartoon character I’ve ever seen.  This one’s for you Greenacres…

surisburnbook:

Amy Poehler’s ginger child is the most lifelike cartoon character I’ve ever seen.