Sideways Stories

I Tried Gwyneth Paltrow's Diet

Fri, 10 May 2013 09:42:20 -0400

This review of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Diet in her new book It’s All Good is pretty hilarious…I’m not a huge Gwyneth fan (certainly not like the reviewer - I didn’t love her in “A Perfect Murder”) but I still thought the review was reasonably balanced and funny…showing you can eat uber healthy but often times it comes down to resources - time and money.

Team Google It Bitch

Thu, 09 May 2013 10:24:13 -0400

greenacres:

Spring and Summer means one thing round these parts. Trivia at Neon’s. Bill’s Grill is open and the questions are flying. If only we could answer them correctly.

Nothing makes me feel more stupid than a dozen questions that a third grader could answer.

Google it Bitch…teexxttt mee!

stfuconservatives: smdxn: Eliz. Warren wants to cut student...

Thu, 09 May 2013 10:09:59 -0400

stfuconservatives:

smdxn:

Eliz. Warren wants to cut student interest rates to near zero

Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) has introduced her first piece of legislation. It’s called the Bank on Students Loan Fairness Act, and would reduce the rate students pay on federally-subsidized student loans for one year, from 3.4% to 0.75%.

Without congressional action, on July 1 the rate is set to double from 3.4% to 6.8%.

Warren brings up an interesting point – her bill simply asks students to pay the same rates that big banks pay for borrowing.

She’s literally just asking if college grads can get the same deal as bank CEOs. The exact same interest rate. Not even a bailout or anything fancy (pipe dreams!) - just the same interest rate.

Currently on replay. I think it’s pretty self-explanatory...

Thu, 09 May 2013 10:08:42 -0400

Currently on replay. I think it’s pretty self-explanatory but in a nutshell, it’s a funny and amusing distraction to writing dissertation stuff right now. The end.

doctorimpostor: OMG, THIS IS WONDERFUL. Thanks Robin Williams,...

Wed, 08 May 2013 17:48:46 -0400

doctorimpostor:

OMG, THIS IS WONDERFUL. Thanks Robin Williams, seriously.

This one’s for you Greenacres… surisburnbook: Amy...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 15:28:49 -0400

This one’s for you Greenacres…

surisburnbook:

Amy Poehler’s ginger child is the most lifelike cartoon character I’ve ever seen.

Photo

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 19:20:51 -0400

surisburnbook: Kim Kardashian bought Penelope Disick a...

Sat, 23 Feb 2013 07:40:24 -0500

surisburnbook:

Kim Kardashian bought Penelope Disick a miniature Balenciaga bag. It’s not that I’m against kids having designer handbags (I’m very pro-designer handbag), but this is just a joke. First of all, she captioned this on Instagram with “Awe Penelope is wearing the little Balenciaga bag I got her for Christmas!” And, she’s not wearing it. Her dumb-as-rocks aunt is holding it near her.

Second of all, that bag is too small to hold anything bigger than a cotton ball. If it can’t fit a credit card and a lipstick, it’s not a handbag.

"Jess: You can’t escape Destiny; she comes for us all. That relentless bitch. ..."

Fri, 22 Feb 2013 22:34:35 -0500

“Jess: You can’t escape Destiny; she comes for us all. That relentless bitch. That’s right, Destiny’s a lady.
Schmidt: Destiny might be a lady, but victory has a penis. Direct quote - Scott Caan.”

- Schmidt, New Girl, Season 2 episode 17 “Parking Spot”

surisburnbook: Hang in there, Penelope. I wish I could tell you...

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 17:12:51 -0500

surisburnbook:

Hang in there, Penelope. I wish I could tell you it gets better, but I don’t like liars.

surisburnbook: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I knew having a portrait artist...

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 17:10:47 -0500

surisburnbook:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I knew having a portrait artist in my pocket was going to come in handy one of these days. The royal portraitist owed me a favor, so when I told him to paint Kate Middleton with baggy eyes — one bag bigger than the other — and a smug smirk, he really didn’t have a choice.

Kate: 152,348.

Suri: 1.

surisburnbook: Jessica Simpson confirmed her pregnancy less...

Fri, 04 Jan 2013 09:16:23 -0500

surisburnbook:

Jessica Simpson confirmed her pregnancy less than a week ago, and she’s already posting nearly-nude, duckface pregnancy photos of herself to Twitter. It’s going to be a long seventeen months.

surisburnbook: Gisele Bundchen, the most smug person in America...

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 07:36:23 -0500

surisburnbook:

Gisele Bundchen, the most smug person in America — which is really saying something, considering I’ve had dinner with Jada Pinkett Smith — gave birth yesterday to a baby girl named Vivian Lake Brady. Is she named after a soap opera character? Or is that just the smuggiest name that Gisele and Tom could come up with? (If so, Penelope Scotland out-smugs this name any day of the week.)

surisburnbook: I think Jessica Simpson’s baby just figured out...

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 07:30:32 -0500

surisburnbook:

I think Jessica Simpson’s baby just figured out that she’s Jessica Simpson’s baby.

surisburnbook: I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to...

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 11:51:13 -0500

surisburnbook:

I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to cry.

My sentiments exactly.

surisburnbook: Halloween is over. This is just Rachel Zoe and...

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:59:06 -0500

surisburnbook:

Halloween is over. This is just Rachel Zoe and Skyler looking like rich hipsters who have a 70’s band and possibly a drug problem.

surisburnbook: Tori Spelling’s face is the stuff of nightmares,...

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:57:10 -0500

surisburnbook:

Tori Spelling’s face is the stuff of nightmares, as is the fact that she has four children now.

surisburnbook: The difference between Kingston and Zuma...

Fri, 05 Oct 2012 16:13:30 -0400

surisburnbook:

The difference between Kingston and Zuma Rossdale is that Kingston knows when class is called for. He’s in dress shoes and a button-down, and is sporting a surprisingly well-coiffed hairstyle, as he celebrates his mother’s birthday with dinner.

Zuma, though, sported sneakers and a tank top, and accessorized with a belt that’s not doing its job and what appears to be a sippy cup.

You have to dress for the occasion, even when the guest of honor is your mother. And Zuma is dressed for a redneck picnic.

Photo

Thu, 27 Sep 2012 14:22:09 -0400

surisburnbook: How many elbows does one baby need? Maxwell Drew...

Thu, 27 Sep 2012 14:19:29 -0400

surisburnbook:

How many elbows does one baby need? Maxwell Drew Johnson looks like a baby version of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, which isn’t too hard to believe, really.

You are what you eat.

Sideways Stories

I Tried Gwyneth Paltrow's Diet

Team Google It Bitch

stfuconservatives: smdxn: Eliz. Warren wants to cut student...

Currently on replay. I think it’s pretty self-explanatory...

doctorimpostor: OMG, THIS IS WONDERFUL. Thanks Robin Williams,...

This one’s for you Greenacres… surisburnbook: Amy...

Photo

surisburnbook: Kim Kardashian bought Penelope Disick a...

"Jess: You can’t escape Destiny; she comes for us all. That relentless bitch. ..."

surisburnbook: Hang in there, Penelope. I wish I could tell you...

surisburnbook: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I knew having a portrait artist...

surisburnbook: Jessica Simpson confirmed her pregnancy less...

surisburnbook: Gisele Bundchen, the most smug person in America...

surisburnbook: I think Jessica Simpson’s baby just figured out...

surisburnbook: I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to...

surisburnbook: Halloween is over. This is just Rachel Zoe and...

surisburnbook: Tori Spelling’s face is the stuff of nightmares,...

surisburnbook: The difference between Kingston and Zuma...

Photo

surisburnbook: How many elbows does one baby need? Maxwell Drew...

I Tried Gwyneth Paltrow's Diet